*dies in flappy bird* *looks directly at the camera like i’m on the office*
If you command me to do something that I was already planning on doing the chances of me doing that thing automatically drop to zero
Two scientists walk into a bar.
The first scientist says “I’ll have a glass of H2O”
The second scientist says “Who comes into a fucking bar for a drink of water? I’ll have a beer.”
do you ever look at yourself and think ‘maybe I’m not that bad looking’ and then 21 seconds later you look again and you’re like ‘oh yeah lmao’